Tomorrow morning Gregg and I will be going to Puerto Rico. I am so excited! We will be traveling for a wedding that Gregg is the best man in. whatever the reason this will be an amazing time for us. It has been a while...almost 9 months since Gregg and I have gone away together and we all know what happened then, wink wink.
several have asked me if its OK for me to travel and I assure you that I checked, and rechecked with my doctor about the safety of this trip and he assured me every time that I would be fine. He gave me a few suggestions but nothing to extreme and only to make it more comfortable for me. So thank you for all your concerns but I will be just fine, I pray. The other concern has been with the Swine Flu...first of all Puerto Rico is not in Mexico, secondly...well I don't have a secondly but seriously people I already paid for this trip and I am not staying home out of fear. Doesn't the Bible say that fear is not from God. I have faith that I will be fine.
With all that said; I did have the most unusual feeling last night.
We started to get the house ready before our trip. I hate the idea of being gone and coming home tired to a messy house so my wonderful husband helped me do some good ole deep cleaning. Well while I was dusting shelves in the bathroom i suddenly thought what if I never come back here....
It was an unusual thought even for me and if you know me you know I can think of some pretty wild what if's. It suddenly occurred to me that if something happened to me on this trip this might be the last time I clean this house. Then it just went way out there and I started feeling that I should clean everything in case something happened and someone else was in my house going through my things. I had this mental image of my parents bringing the kids to our house and my mom commenting on how clean the house was....
I know insane!!! I am going to blame it all on the pregnancy hormone which have turned me into another person lately anyways. I have complete peace about this trip and about my our safety, no clue where that morbid thought train came from. Nonetheless my house is immaculate now.
I have been torturing myself reading blogs about dying people lately and that could have very well played a huge role in it but I rest assure that God's hand will be with us throughout this trip.
Other than getting ready for our trip everything is going great. Only 2 weeks of school left, after my return!
Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thankful
I was just reading a blog from a christian woman who lost her little girl. It is a very sad story of course but one filled with hope because of her faith. I was reminded this morning of having faith like a child and then ironically her blog spoke of something quite similar.
As most of you know I lost two babies last year, technically one this year in February and one last October but since I am a teacher everything is segmented into school year time. The baby we lost in February was the hardest. For more than one reason. First, we had already lost one in October and second because I had made it to be 16 weeks, I was feeling confident.
To fill you in but keep a long story short the first baby we lost was at about 8 weeks and had no explanation..."it's just one of those things" as the medical staff so gently put it.
The second pregnancy wasn't planned but it happened and the doctor was concerned at the closeness to the previous miscarriage but it had happened and we would just watch it. Having a previous miscarriage at 8 weeks didn't out me at any higher risk for another so nothing special was done. As we progressed i had a feeling that something wasn't quite right. I don't know if it mothers intuition or something God was preparing me for but i know something wasn't right. At my OB appointments they could not find a heart beat but that was explained by the fact that I am not skinny...I still had a funny feeling and was trying not to let the devil convince me something God had given me would be taken away. Well on February 12 I had enough. I was lightly spotting and had a horrible head ache. I had Gregg take me to the ER where we received the worst medical care imaginable. I will spare you the details. After having to beg them to do an ultra sound and check things out we were finally able to see that I was pregnant but it wasn't OK...something wasn't right. The baby in the picture only looked to be a few weeks gestation. The ER doctor tried to convince me that i wasn't 16 weeks pregnant but only around 6-8.
The next day I phoned my Dr. told him the events of the night in the ER and he told me to come right in. I love my Dr. by the way!
He looked at me and decided before we did anything else we should get another ultrasound....
I knew when the picture showed up on the screen something was wrong, I didn't even need to look at the technicians face.
To sum it up the baby had died around 8 weeks and I had what was called a missed-miscarriage. My body didn't realize the baby had died. On February 14, 2008 I had a DNC to deliver Cannan. I was the hardest time of my life. I had not realized it was valentines day...not the way I wanted to celebrate it.
Fast forward............
This morning Alana was telling her friend Peyton that the baby that is in Mommy's tummy now is Moriah and before that Cannan was in Mommy's tummy but Jesus decided that she needed to go back to Heaven and that's OK, she is with Jesus now. Well if you know Alana you know that she is wise beyond her years and Peyton never had a chance to say anything and the conversation ended as quickly as it began.
It made me think about faith like a child....everything is OK according to Alana because, well just because it is. Jesus took care of it end of story. How amazing would it be to be able to deal with the pain in our lives that simply. To be able to say...OK God this is what you decided and I'm OK with it.
Wow, what a peaceful life we would live. I will be honest and say I have spent more time praying for an understanding of why I had to go through all the pain I suffered than I have spent praising God that I am now carrying a baby that will be born in 10 short weeks.
I just want to say thank you God! Thank you for giving me the child I carry now, thank you for blessing me with Alana who shows me more about life than I ever understood on my own. Thank you for a son who keeps me on my toes and a husband who is understanding through all my struggles.
Thank You! Thank you! Thank you!
We also did some good ole' family fishing last night and I wanted to show off our "big fish"!
As most of you know I lost two babies last year, technically one this year in February and one last October but since I am a teacher everything is segmented into school year time. The baby we lost in February was the hardest. For more than one reason. First, we had already lost one in October and second because I had made it to be 16 weeks, I was feeling confident.
To fill you in but keep a long story short the first baby we lost was at about 8 weeks and had no explanation..."it's just one of those things" as the medical staff so gently put it.
The second pregnancy wasn't planned but it happened and the doctor was concerned at the closeness to the previous miscarriage but it had happened and we would just watch it. Having a previous miscarriage at 8 weeks didn't out me at any higher risk for another so nothing special was done. As we progressed i had a feeling that something wasn't quite right. I don't know if it mothers intuition or something God was preparing me for but i know something wasn't right. At my OB appointments they could not find a heart beat but that was explained by the fact that I am not skinny...I still had a funny feeling and was trying not to let the devil convince me something God had given me would be taken away. Well on February 12 I had enough. I was lightly spotting and had a horrible head ache. I had Gregg take me to the ER where we received the worst medical care imaginable. I will spare you the details. After having to beg them to do an ultra sound and check things out we were finally able to see that I was pregnant but it wasn't OK...something wasn't right. The baby in the picture only looked to be a few weeks gestation. The ER doctor tried to convince me that i wasn't 16 weeks pregnant but only around 6-8.
The next day I phoned my Dr. told him the events of the night in the ER and he told me to come right in. I love my Dr. by the way!
He looked at me and decided before we did anything else we should get another ultrasound....
I knew when the picture showed up on the screen something was wrong, I didn't even need to look at the technicians face.
To sum it up the baby had died around 8 weeks and I had what was called a missed-miscarriage. My body didn't realize the baby had died. On February 14, 2008 I had a DNC to deliver Cannan. I was the hardest time of my life. I had not realized it was valentines day...not the way I wanted to celebrate it.
Fast forward............
This morning Alana was telling her friend Peyton that the baby that is in Mommy's tummy now is Moriah and before that Cannan was in Mommy's tummy but Jesus decided that she needed to go back to Heaven and that's OK, she is with Jesus now. Well if you know Alana you know that she is wise beyond her years and Peyton never had a chance to say anything and the conversation ended as quickly as it began.
It made me think about faith like a child....everything is OK according to Alana because, well just because it is. Jesus took care of it end of story. How amazing would it be to be able to deal with the pain in our lives that simply. To be able to say...OK God this is what you decided and I'm OK with it.
Wow, what a peaceful life we would live. I will be honest and say I have spent more time praying for an understanding of why I had to go through all the pain I suffered than I have spent praising God that I am now carrying a baby that will be born in 10 short weeks.
I just want to say thank you God! Thank you for giving me the child I carry now, thank you for blessing me with Alana who shows me more about life than I ever understood on my own. Thank you for a son who keeps me on my toes and a husband who is understanding through all my struggles.
Thank You! Thank you! Thank you!
We also did some good ole' family fishing last night and I wanted to show off our "big fish"!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Another Week Closer
Not to much to report from our weekend. I was Gregg's weekend to work so on Saturday Alana Noah and I went to Alana's ball practice and then went home right before the rain started. I was glad not to get caught out in it. It rained all afternoon at our house. I felt bad for the dogs. They would come out when it let up and then get caught in a downpour...they looked so sad, and wet.
Alana's ball practice went well, I learned that I need to sit where I cannot hear the coaches, so I don't get angry. I know, but they are talking to my baby!!! She did great and I am so proud of her. I swear I could not hit the ball as often as she does, not saying to much about my athletic ability.....
Noah was bored and hot and tired and....fill in the blank for the majority of her practice which didn't make it any more enjoyable that's for sure, but he is 4 and when he isn't happy no one is happy. He does like to play with the dog who lives on the other side of the fence from where we practice. The dog loves to eat those little yellow weed flowers and Noah loves to feed them to him. I hope they aren't dangerous!
I am still pregnant which is a good things 23 hours a day. There is usually an hour or so at night that I am so miserable its almost unbearable. I am 30 weeks today and that for some reason seems like a huge accomplishment...only 10 to go! Moriah is running out of room and I am beginning to wonder how close to July I am going to get. The last two weeks of June seem like a real possibility to me. We still have nothing done in preparation but it will work out, I hope.
Many of you have been praying for my student and I want to urge you to continue...he is still not out of the woods. The risk of infection is so high with burn patients he needs protection from God at all times. He has lost both feet and legs about 4 inches above the ankle and is in surgery today for more grafting. I would also like if you all would pray for another student of mine Levi, he is Brady's best bud and is going to see him this weekend, actually Wed-Fri this week. Pray that he will be able to handle what he is going to see when he gets there. He is also 15 and I worry about how he will react when he sees the condition Brady is in....just pray for him.
This is Monday of week five...only have four more after this one....come on SUMMER!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
It has been a while
PaPa with the kidsIt has taken me forever to get the time to sit down and write. Gregg has been so busy with work and I still have not received that burst of energy I was supposed to get in my second trimester, now that I am in the third.
School has been so busy, we are preparing for End of Instruction tests and everything else that goes on at the end of the year. As many of you know one of my freshman English students was critically injured after a car accident. I say after because he was electrocuted and burnt after exiting his vehicle. Brady is a very spirited young man, that's how you say a hand full politely. Seriously, he was always distracting the class and we had several encounters because of his attitude, but in retrospect I would rather have him here stirring up trouble in my class than to be going through all he is going through now. My hear just breaks for him and his family.If you are in the Muskogee area they are having a fundraiser dinner at Runts on Okmulgee St. this Sunday from 11-3. I encourage all that can to help out this family. I have told Brady and his mother several times before the incident that Brady is God's way of preparing me for Noah as a teenager...full of energy and lacking any restraint.
As for Moriah she is just a growing away. I told Gregg if my belly doesn't give soon she is gonna kick out. I am so excited to be 30 weeks, I know it will be here before I know it, and I am in no way prepared but I am ready to see this little gal. I seems like it has been forever since I had a baby and I am so excited.
Alana had her first softball tournament last weekend and they did good. I love to see those little 5 and 6 year old's being such serious ball players.
Sarah and ArtyNoah has had a pretty uneventful past few weeks. He got a baby chicken for Easter and his fascination with animals is just astounding. He has determined that he is going to teach them how to fly. I don't have the heart to tell him that it will learn on its own. So cute to watch him teach it.
Hope everyone is having a great spring. Summer is right around the corner!!!!!!!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Its Spring!
Gregg and I at my cousins wedding
Robbers Cave
Ohh Back to Work!
Well spring break is over and I am torn. It was awesome to spend some time at home with the kids but I am reminded why I am not a stay at home mom, fighting kids! They love each other more than anyone could imagine but fight when ever given the opportunity.
Gregg was off Tuesday which was awesome because it was a beautiful day to be outside. We started off the day with doughnuts, a Gregg's day off constant, then went to work on our yard. Our back yard has more sticks than imaginable and I know mowing season will be here soon so cleaning them up was on the top of our list. After a few hours of that Gregg's Dad,or Papa, came up with Wesley, our little cousin, and we went fishing. It was great, the kids got dirty, played with rusty fish hooks, and we caught three fish in 5 hours...
I forgot that you can get sunburned in March so we all came back pink...Gregg and I were RED!
That night we finished the yard work and built a fire in the Pit that Jamie and Steven got us for Christmas. All in all it was a wonderfully exhausting day, the kind I truly love.
The remainder of our spring break consisted of playing in the back yard and cleaning house. It went by so fast but I am glad to be back to school because it gets us so much closer to summer!!!
I am 26 weeks this week and that's exciting. Hit up a great yard sale and acquired some really cute outfits for Moriah, and that makes me feel like we are actually getting ready for this baby.
For this week...
I have decided that my attitude needs an adjustment. I have had conflict with some of my students and I am regretting that because I feel it is interfering with their learning so my goal for this week is to stay positive and try and encourage as much as I can. Pray with me that I can encourage my students and not just infuriate them.
Have a blessed week!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The first of many....
Well hello and thanks for stopping by. This is my first attempt at this whole Blogging thing and I am excited...I always have something to say.
I guess I will start with a Collins Family update.
Gregg is working in the funeral industry, he works as an assistant Funeral Director, or maybe its Funeral Director's assistant... I get confused.
I am teaching English at Oktaha High School, It's a love/hate relationship...kids are a challenge for me.
Alana is 5 and in Kindergarden. She is amazingly smart, she simply amazes me with what she understands and how mature she is. She is all about cheerleading, Hannah Montana, HSM, and iCarly. This will be her 2nd season playing softball, and she is excited about that starting. Its lovely to see what an amazing little girl we are raising, she is involved with church and loves to sing along with the Christian Radio station...its makes Mommy's heart smile.
Noah is 4 and in Pre-K. He is his father made over!!! This little man holds my heart and he knows it. He is all boy and finds trouble at every opportunity but he is Mommy's sweetheart, he still loves to cuddle. (Alana gave that up about a year ago) He will hopefully be playing t-ball this year, although, we are having some trouble getting a team together. He loves animals! Horses are his favorite, I think he is a horse whisperer. He loves to wrestle with his daddy, or anyone who wants to.
Baby Moriah- she will be here at the end of June/Beginning of July. This is truly a gift from God! We tried to have a baby last year but suffered two miscarriages. After deciding to quit trying God showed us that he is in control and here we are 24 weeks in and everything looks great. the kids are getting excited! Alana was able to feel her move the other day and that was amazing to watch, her little eyes got huge and she just waited for another kick. I think Moriah and her Big Sister are going to be great friends. Noah is still undecided on the issues, I say this because he seems quite uninterested in the whole situation...who knows with little boys.
Hope you all have a blessed day and thank you for reading. Check back in because this is still new to me and I'm hoping to get pictures posted soon.
I guess I will start with a Collins Family update.
Gregg is working in the funeral industry, he works as an assistant Funeral Director, or maybe its Funeral Director's assistant... I get confused.
I am teaching English at Oktaha High School, It's a love/hate relationship...kids are a challenge for me.
Alana is 5 and in Kindergarden. She is amazingly smart, she simply amazes me with what she understands and how mature she is. She is all about cheerleading, Hannah Montana, HSM, and iCarly. This will be her 2nd season playing softball, and she is excited about that starting. Its lovely to see what an amazing little girl we are raising, she is involved with church and loves to sing along with the Christian Radio station...its makes Mommy's heart smile.
Noah is 4 and in Pre-K. He is his father made over!!! This little man holds my heart and he knows it. He is all boy and finds trouble at every opportunity but he is Mommy's sweetheart, he still loves to cuddle. (Alana gave that up about a year ago) He will hopefully be playing t-ball this year, although, we are having some trouble getting a team together. He loves animals! Horses are his favorite, I think he is a horse whisperer. He loves to wrestle with his daddy, or anyone who wants to.
Baby Moriah- she will be here at the end of June/Beginning of July. This is truly a gift from God! We tried to have a baby last year but suffered two miscarriages. After deciding to quit trying God showed us that he is in control and here we are 24 weeks in and everything looks great. the kids are getting excited! Alana was able to feel her move the other day and that was amazing to watch, her little eyes got huge and she just waited for another kick. I think Moriah and her Big Sister are going to be great friends. Noah is still undecided on the issues, I say this because he seems quite uninterested in the whole situation...who knows with little boys.
Hope you all have a blessed day and thank you for reading. Check back in because this is still new to me and I'm hoping to get pictures posted soon.
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